101 DAYS

101 DAYS

101 DAYS GRAFFITI ADIDAS SUPERSTAR TRAINERS SNEAKERS

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By kingpure, Jan 26 2012 07:03PM

Okay, that didn't go so well.

A certain Mr Streak got to me about 4 o'clock in the afternoon, resulting in the crushing end to my working week with plenty still to do. Tits!

This went from bad to worse as my plan for a light snack and G&Ts turned to 4 double cheeseburgers and beer!

Ended up in Shoreditch with Streak, Dubbu Jonny M for beer, G&Ts and a rapidly disappearing voice.

Plenty of 4%ers around to say goodbye to Mr and Mrs Faldo as well as, apparently, one Professor Green, the murdering bastard! Never understood why he used a pipe in the dining room.

Wouldn't have missed the night for almost anything just wish I'd stuck to the original plan.

All the way back to square one in the time it takes to say "Nice. Lovin' them cement AM90s with the bluebird catflap" or some such tosh!

By kingpure, Jan 26 2012 06:48PM

As of this morning I have lost 4.5lbs. This feels like a small slice of success.

I have only missed one of the workouts the annoying workout bastard wanted me to do and feel like I have pretty much given it my all.

I now know my right knee and my left elbow don't work as originally planned by millions of years of evolution and I frankly can't wait the next 20 years it will take for the advances in science to make the replacement appendages available.

Supposed to be going out with a couple of the Crooked Tongues massive this evening.

Didn't realise it was a proper occasion until about 10 minutes ago.

Tempted to bail but know I'll have a laugh regardless so probably won't.

By kingpure, Jan 18 2012 04:24PM

Had my lunch all planned out with nuff veg, some rice and a little saucy something (alas, not female!) when I get a phonecall from Nelly. "I'm downstairs, now. Fancy chips for lunch?"

My backbone lasted approximately 3 buts and an oh man before complete, French style, capitulation washed over me and I was on my way to the chip shop.

I fought the rest of the day valiantly denying myself any meaningful form of sustinence until toast arrived in my mouth followed by chocolate biscuitage at half 10.

Combined with the carnage that is my thigh muscles after yesterday's workout leaving me incapable of any movement, let alone fitness styles, it was a bad day for the grand plan.

Hopefully my legs will be fixed and ready for another can of whoop ass by tomorrow..........

By kingpure, Jan 17 2012 09:40PM

Okay, yesterday was a joke.

Got up and straight on the Playstation.

Oh. Shit.

I am broken all over and have discovered that at the tender age of *cough* 30, my left elbow is no longer useable through the full range of movements for which it was intended.

I have exercised hard for 30 minutes and burnt 248 calories.

The same as 1 Mars bar!

What the fuck!?!

The journey from keg to six pack is gonna be a hard one!

By guest, Jan 15 2012 01:17PM

EMPOWERED BY THE CRUSHING INEVITABILTY OF MY OWN DEATH, I RIP THE PACKAGING FROM THE PLAYSTATION 3 FITNESS GAME?!?

IT TAKES ME NEARLY HALF AN HOUR TO INPUT MY AGE, MY HEIGHT, MY WEIGHT, MY HAIR COLOUR, MY PROPENSITY FOR FRIED FOOD AND WHETHER OR NOT I'VE EVER TAKEN IT UP THE DIRT BOX.

GROWING WEARY MY FOCUS STARTS TO FADE.

ON THE SCREEN A WORKOUT SCHEDULE FLASHES. "IS THIS OKAY?" IT ASKS ME. FEARING THAT PRESSING X IS THIS PRODUCTS ONLY MEANS OF GETTING ME FIT, I CONCEDE WITH ONE MORE MIGHTY JAB OF MY NOW BIONIC THUMB.

"CONGRATULATIONS" IT TELLS ME, "YOU HAVE COMPLETED YOUR PROFILE AND CAN BEGIN YOUR WORKOUT!"...... BRING IT ON! ...........

FEINING EXCITEMENT I MOVE ON TO MY WORKOUT SCHEDULE TO TAKE THE FIRST STEP ON A LONG AND SWEATY ROAD.

"TODAY IS A REST DAY!"

............GLANCING AT THE SCHEDULE IT (I) SET ME, I REALISE THAT OF THE 4 ON AND 3 OFF DAYS IT HAS GIVEN ME, ONE OF THE REST DAYS IS A SUNDAY...........

TODAY, IS A SUNDAY!

THE SOFTWARE IS ADAMANT AND IMMOVABLE. I WOULD HAVE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN IF I WANT TO CHANGE THE SCHEDULE.

"FUCK IT", I GIVE IN.

I HAVE MORE SENSORS STRAPPED TO ME THAN THE AVERAGE INHABITANT OF MAYDAY'S CARDIO UNIT AND THEY ARE ABOUT AS MUCH GOOD TO ME.

REVITALISED BY ANGER AND DISGUST, YET INSPIRED BY THE LEGENDARY BRIAN JACKS, I DROP TO THE FLOOR AND MANAGE, OVER THE COURSE OF THE NEXT HOUR, TO KNOCK OUT 200 SQUAT THRUSTS. IT... IS.... ALIVE!

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